Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize