she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
