I look better un-naked...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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