Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
