i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
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