You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
bring money and cleavage
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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