we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize