I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
