careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize