Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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