I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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