So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
