No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
