im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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