Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
