her vagine was all disorganized.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
