The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
