If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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