his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
