Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
