She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize