I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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