Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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