I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
