Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Fuck appropriateness.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize