I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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