Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
