He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
