I accidentally had phone sex last night
from now on my penis is your penis
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
