I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
