kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
sex in a hospital.. check
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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