I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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