drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
