Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize