Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
All the doctor said was why
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
