Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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