on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
