My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
