I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
