Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
