I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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