I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
