They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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