Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
