We're facebook friends in real life
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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