i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
