I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
