I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize