good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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