Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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