We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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