My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
