Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
