she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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