so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
