I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
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