I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
