I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize