You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
