Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize