she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
