I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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