Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
