So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
