sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize