Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
