I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
