return my video game
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
