the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
