I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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