M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize